Commonly Asked Questions about Addiction and Treatment
How can I tell if I am an enabler?
"Enabling is a behavior often seen in the relationships of individuals struggling with addiction. An enabler, often without realizing it, may protect the individual with addiction from the consequences of their behavior, thus indirectly encouraging continued substance use. If you're unsure whether you might be enabling someone's addiction, consider the following signs:
- Rescuing: If you frequently find yourself covering up or making excuses for the individual's substance use or its consequences - like calling in sick to their job for them, paying their bills, or lying to others to conceal their addiction - this could be enabling.
- Denying: If you downplay the severity of their addiction, dismiss the negative impact it has, or avoid discussing it entirely, you may be enabling.
- Avoiding Conflict: If you consistently avoid confrontations or difficult conversations about their substance use out of fear it may cause tension or lead them to use more, this can be a form of enabling.
- Taking on Their Responsibilities: If you've taken on their duties - like household chores, parenting responsibilities, or work commitments - to compensate for their inability or unwillingness to fulfill them due to their addiction, you could be enabling.
- Providing Financial Support: If you're frequently giving them money, which they could be using to support their addiction, or bailing them out of financial problems caused by their substance use, this is often a clear sign of enabling.
- Ignoring Damaging Behaviors: If you tend to overlook or dismiss destructive or harmful behaviors associated with their addiction, you may be enabling.
Can I force my adult child to get help for their addiction?
While it's natural to want to help your adult child struggling with addiction, it is essential to recognize that you cannot force them into treatment if they are unwilling. As an adult, they have the right to make their own decisions, and treatment is most effective when the individual is motivated and ready to change.
However, there are several ways you can support and encourage your adult child to seek help for their addiction:
- Express concern: Openly share your concerns about their substance use in a non-judgmental and empathetic manner. Use "I" statements to convey your feelings and avoid blaming or accusing them.
- Offer information: Provide your adult child with information about addiction and the available treatment options. Encourage them to research these options and consider the benefits of seeking help.
- Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect yourself and other family members from the negative consequences of your adult child's addiction. For example, you might decide not to provide financial support if it enables their substance use.
- Encourage support group attendance: Suggest that your adult child attends support group meetings, such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. These meetings can offer valuable peer support and help them understand that they are not alone in their struggle.
- Consider an intervention: If your adult child remains resistant to seeking help, consider organizing a professionally guided intervention with the assistance of a certified interventionist. An intervention involves gathering loved ones to express their concern and present an united front in encouraging the individual to enter treatment.
- Seek support for yourself: Dealing with a loved one's addiction can be emotionally taxing. Connect with support groups, such as Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, which are specifically designed for family members of individuals with addiction. These groups can provide valuable resources and coping strategies.
When a person is a substance abuser, don't they realize their life is being destroyed?
Substance Use Disorder, commonly known as addiction, is a complex condition that can significantly impact a person's judgment, perceptions, and decision-making abilities. Here are a few reasons why someone struggling with substance abuse might not fully realize the extent of the damage it's causing to their life:
Denial: It's common for individuals suffering from addiction to be in denial about the extent of their problem. They might underestimate how much or how often they use, or they may not acknowledge the negative consequences that their substance use is causing.
Altered Brain Function: Addiction affects the brain's reward system and impairs cognitive function. This can distort a person's ability to clearly see the harm that their substance use is causing. They may focus intensely on the immediate rewards of drug use while minimizing or ignoring the long-term negative consequences.
Co-occurring Disorders: Many people with Substance Use Disorder also have other mental health disorders, such as depression or anxiety. These conditions can exacerbate feelings of denial or self-deception about the extent of the substance abuse problem.
Fear and Shame: Fear of withdrawal, fear of change, and shame about their substance use can also prevent individuals from admitting to themselves or others the full extent of their problem.
Lack of Awareness: Some individuals may not understand the signs and symptoms of addiction, or they may not recognize that they can seek help and that recovery is possible.